16 February 2015

50 Shades of Not Amused

We are not amused
I didn't watch the movie.
I didn't read the book.

For the same reason I don't enjoy erotica or porn. Personal choice. I don't want to hear about things other people do with their genitals or see it. What you do on the toilet or in the bed room is okay and good, but do you have to share? No, no you don't. It's your choice if you do, but it's my choice if I don't want to see it.

So, people on social media. Please. Stop. You're gross. I just can't delete and block people fast enough.

And I just don't like you that way. I'm a doer not a watcher. It's private!

I believe the new definition of a prude is someone, like me, who keeps their business private. They maintain a certain air of mystery and dare I say, intimacy in their personal relationships. Joining a hundred strangers in a dimly lit theatre to watch two fictional characters engage in forms of sexual activity that have long been enjoyed by a community of people who largely condemns the work as misleading of their lifestyle, doesn't turn me on.

But, about romance and erotica writers, I love them. Some of them are such awesome people. Of course, I don't expect them to enjoy my genre any more than I enjoy theirs, but mutual respect abounds. Great people. Great writers.

So, am I judging you if 50 shades happens to be what you like to read or do in your private time? Nah, do what you want. Enjoy yourself. I have great friends who tell me just as much as I can handle about what they read and then I go giggle myself to death. Do what what makes you (and your partner) happy. That's what life is all about, but let's have a few ground rules:

  1. Don't post about erotica on social media accounts where you have kids who read your feed.
  2. Don't talk about BDSM at work under any circumstances. Don't bring porn. Don't talk fetishes. Ever. Ever. Ever (I actually had to deal with this regularly from a female supervisor - ugh!).
  3. Treat the prudes the way you want to be treated. Everyone can be as happy in their sexual choices as they are in their choice of toilets and toilet paper if we respect each other's right to privacy. It's all about genitals, privacy and respect.
  4. Respect the people who have been involved with kink before 50 shades was written. Kink isn't new even if it's new to you.
  5. Be sensitive to the women and men suffering with PTSD from sexually abusive relationships who have traumatic experiences triggered by sexually explicit images and contexts. Don't assume something graphic is okay to share, visually or verbally.*
Yeah, that's all.

I love seeing people read. I love seeing people happy, excited and having a good time. But, I'm not impressed that so many people have lost their good sense and stopped being classy when we all know they're capable.

Thank you.

* I'm not advocating for labeling everything with "trigger warning." I mean don't make assumptions. I've met tons of guys who've been raped as well as girls. And they don't want to go there either. You just never know who has been affected. 
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